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Thursday, August 12, 2010

The role of Wives in marriage - morning show Tuesday 2010/08/10


Today's topic is about the role of women in their marriages. The caller believes that wives should take up a bigger role and not leave everything to the house help. A example given (which is considered good) is that a wife should wash the husband's 'intimates' read inner wear.

My Human Opinion

Common now gentlemen and ladies, especially gentlemen. What is so hard in washing your inner wear? We should not be talking about that. If you are a health, able-bodied human being, please take care of your inner wear. And those who were suggesting the house help does it, are going to far. If you could get up and walk into the shower/bath then you can wash your inner wear. Just remember that there are some who would loved to wash clothing but don't have the hands to do so.
However, if you (either party) for any bizarre reason decide to wash your partner's inner wear then let it be a personal choice.
Enough, let's move on.

Thus do not look at the roles of wives from one dimension, consider the roles of all parties. i.e. say the wife has to go away for a few weeks, does it mean that the husband will not make the bed or pick the kids from school? If the husband is away on business does it mean that the wife will not change that light bub or change the power steering oil? Probably not, but you get the point.

If the husband, the traditional breadwinner cannot win the said bread, the wife and sometimes the children, has to take over.
Each marriage relationship should define roles: a job description. When you get employed you get a job description, and I am not saying marriage is a form of employment though it can be argued that it is.  This job description can be changed due to the dynamic of the job. Then why do we prefer not to define a 'job description' for each partner? Also, whenever you cannot do a certain duty in your workplace you usually delegate. The same should apply to the marriage JD.

My Biblical Opinion

Marriage is under the greatest attack ever from the Devil. And the woman is the first to receive the attack. Have you ever heard of Adam and Eve?

Why does the Devil target the woman first? Because she can persuade (note: I didn't use the word nag ) a man to do anything. Remember Samson and Delilah?
Judges 16:
 15 Then she said to him, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven't told me the secret of your great strength." 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.
 17 So he told her everything. "No razor has ever been used on my head," he said, "because I have been a Nazirite set apart to God since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man."
The Israelites were warned severally against intermarrying with the pagan communities around them since the women would lead them astray. King Solomon comes to mind.

So what does all this have to do with roles in marriage? Glad you asked. A shoe can be used as a hammer to hit a nail through wood. But I can assure you that it is not as effective as using a real hammer. The shoe may decide to abscond from the duty it was designed for and say that it will be hitting nails from now on. The hammer has no choice but to find something else to do. Thus the shoe, the nail and the hammer all suffer (poor nail).

Men and women were made for specific roles, in the family and in society as large. Thus when one decides to abscond, all suffer. Let jump to Ephesians 5
Wives and Husbands
 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Husbands, wives and children all have roles that were defined by the Creator.
Ephesians 6:
Children and Parents
 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
God created woman to be a helper to man. Genesis 2:18
 18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
But the man must be doing something that he needs help in for him to have a helper, don't you think?
Whereas the 'traditional' roles may have been blurred with the ages, there are some roles that never change. e.g. The wife is the one who gets pregnant.
Another thing missing in our generation is the mentorship aspect of marriage. Consider what Titus 2 says
 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
The older married women should teach the younger women how to build their homes.

Each marriage is unique and the roles have to be uniquely defined as guided by the verses above in the aim of becoming one. Therefore, we cannot give an exhaustive list here. And we should leave it at that. Who knows how two become one? The Bible calls it a profound mystery.

We don't know, but God does. See you tomorrow

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