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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Does Mwalimu Kingangi know the answer to an ideal marriage?

Hi people, I really hope that you have not noticed that some day(s) have been skipped and that today is Saturday. Actually if you had not noticed that today is Saturday I have some doctors' numbers I can give you.

Anywho, let's get back on the horse and discuss Wednesday's topic.

Mwalimu had a brainwave and claimed to have the answer to an ideal marriage: the wife's further studies! So they asked the all important question; if your man/husband tells you not to pursue your further studies or tells you to leave a certain job, would you obey?

PS: And don't ask where I've been. I wouldn't tell you anyway.

My Human Opinion

There is no yes/no answer to this one. I say it depends on the situation. What situation you ask? Let me give you scenarios.

Women, if you just gave birth one week ago but want to go abroad for further studies and your husband asked you not to, would you obey?
Women, you get a very well paying job, your male colleagues and your male superiors constantly ask you for sexual favours and your husband asks you to leave that job, would you obey?

Okay, I know. Even before you say it the above situations are the exception. But ideally, the woman should obey her husband. But if the request is against God's will or really  unreasonable, she should respectfully explain herself and/or persuade her husband to see her point of view. And women can be very persuasive, so no excuses there.

But the bottom line is about men and their insecurities. If it's clearly about your man and his ego then you can disobey, with respect. But don't quote me on that one.

A man who is secure in himself wouldn't have a problem with his wife getting further studies and or having a good job. He provides the way he can and should provide and lets his wife help out without it affecting his ego.

My Biblical opinion

We have been here before but let's read Ephesians 5 21 to 33, again.
 21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church
30for we are members of his body.
31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The Devil cheats our men and women that submission is domination. FYI, it isn't, and verse 21 says submit to one another...

Let's focus on verses 28 and 29. "...husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. ...but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Why? Because "..and the two will become one flesh."

This means that the husband should "feed" and "care" for the wife as much as he does for himself so that he can present her "to himself" as a radiant beauty, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.

In many words, you (man) have to build up your wife in any and every way possible. If allowing her to get further education is it, then do it. If it means you give up your comforts for her to study, do it. Remember, both of you will finally benefit.

Decisions like this need communication, a pinch of prayer and a dose of wisdom for both partners. Ask God for wisdom and discernment in such matters.

Now finally, to throw major spanner into the works, may people (read men) use 1 Timothy 2:9-15 as a Biblical basis for oppressing and repressing women. But I say that take the passage in context. Consider from whom and to whom it was written, the period and the times it was written. And you will have a better interpretation of the passage.

That said, Jesus, the King of Kings, washed his disciples' feet after they had just quarreled about who was the greatest among themselves. Think about that.

Marriage is dynamic. We don't know how the tide will sway. Mwalimu doesn't either. But God does. See you tomorrow.

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