Search Results

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Single ladies, what kind of man are you looking for?

Today Maina and Mwalimu Kingangi were again talking about single and/or lonely ladies who are searching for a good man. So, if they are not looking for the likes of Wakanai's and Kingangi's then who are they looking for?

My Human Opinion

Define a good man. Sorry, I digress, forgive me. There is no good man; Jesus said it.

Anyway, back to today's topic.

Where do we start? Are these ladies searching in the right places? Why are ladies searching for good men instead of good men searching for ladies? Are Kenyan men not marriageable or is the Kenyan women? Whatever your answer(s) to these questions, the bottom line is that the buck has to stop somewhere.

I believe that the problem started and continues with the men. What do I mean?

As the women became more liberated, more financially independent, more stylish and classy, most men choose not to keep up. But as for the men who did keep up, eh the Kingangi's, they managed to get and keep the ladies.

In any society, the alphas rule. So what if the ladies want a man who is financially stable? or takes good care of his body? or is well groomed? or is well educated? or is Kingangi funny? Each of these attributes shows that the man has a certain quality/characteristic that is attractive to the ladies. i.e.

  • A man with a good physique - Has the discipline to gym regularly and the strength and stamina where it's needed.
  • A tall man - Portrays dominance and leadership (portrays is the key word)
  • A man who is stable financially - Has providing power, has discipline to master an art or acquire a skill that others are willing to pay for.
  • A funny man - Why so serious?
  • You get the drift, don't you?
If you have the time please check out the qualities of the males that get the mating rights in the animal kingdom. It's rougher in the jungle my friends. Why should our men expect anything simpler?

So the ladies have the right to choose the best of the best, besides they have potentially more to loose if they choose badly.

In an ideal world, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, girl says yes ...STOP! This is not an ideal world. So what should the girl do as she searches and seeks to be searched?

My Biblical Opinion

Ladies, as you search for your Kingangi's, also look for men with Godly qualities, not foolish and harsh men. Remember, Abigail and Nabal
3 His name was Nabal and his wife's name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.

Men you too have to find a Godly woman from the Lord. A wife can make or break you. The book of Proverbs is full of wise counsel especially intended to teach young unmarried men how to become Godly leaders, and in so doing teaching young women what kind of a man to marry.
  • Prov 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
  • Prov 18: 22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. 
  • Prov 12:4  A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
  • Prov 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. 
And so on. Read more about these traits here.

Ladies, as we finalize, how do you go about getting for your mate. The best Bible story to illustrate that is the story about Ruth and Boaz. In fact, I will paste the complete chapters two and three of Ruth just to emphasize some points made above.Think about the bolded parts.

Chapter two
1 Now Naomi had a relative on her husband's side, from the clan of Elimelech, a man of standing, whose name was Boaz.
 2 And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, "Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor."
      Naomi said to her, "Go ahead, my daughter." 3 So she went out and began to glean in the fields behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelech.
 4 Just then Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters, "The LORD be with you!"
      "The LORD bless you!" they called back.
 5 Boaz asked the foreman of his harvesters, "Whose young woman is that?"
 6 The foreman replied, "She is the Moabitess who came back from Moab with Naomi. 7 She said, 'Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.' She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter."
 8 So Boaz said to Ruth, "My daughter, listen to me. Don't go and glean in another field and don't go away from here. Stay here with my servant girls. 9 Watch the field where the men are harvesting, and follow along after the girls. I have told the men not to touch you. And whenever you are thirsty, go and get a drink from the water jars the men have filled."
 10 At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, "Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?"
 11 Boaz replied, "I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. 12 May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge."
 13 "May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord," she said. "You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls."
 14 At mealtime Boaz said to her, "Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar."
      When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had some left over. 15 As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, "Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don't embarrass her. 16 Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don't rebuke her."
 17 So Ruth gleaned in the field until evening. Then she threshed the barley she had gathered, and it amounted to about an ephah. [a] 18 She carried it back to town, and her mother-in-law saw how much she had gathered. Ruth also brought out and gave her what she had left over after she had eaten enough.
 19 Her mother-in-law asked her, "Where did you glean today? Where did you work? Blessed be the man who took notice of you!"
      Then Ruth told her mother-in-law about the one at whose place she had been working. "The name of the man I worked with today is Boaz," she said.
 20 "The LORD bless him!" Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. "He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead." She added, "That man is our close relative; he is one of our kinsman-redeemers."
 21 Then Ruth the Moabitess said, "He even said to me, 'Stay with my workers until they finish harvesting all my grain.' "
 22 Naomi said to Ruth her daughter-in-law, "It will be good for you, my daughter, to go with his girls, because in someone else's field you might be harmed."
 23 So Ruth stayed close to the servant girls of Boaz to glean until the barley and wheat harvests were finished. And she lived with her mother-in-law.

Chapter Three
 1 One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home [a] for you, where you will be well provided for? 2 Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. 3 Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do."
 5 "I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered. 6 So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.
 7 When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. 8 In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet.
 9 "Who are you?" he asked.
      "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."
 10 "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. 11 And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character. 12 Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I. 13 Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
 14 So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, "Don't let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor."
 15 He also said, "Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out." When she did so, he poured into it six measures of barley and put it on her. Then he went back to town.
 16 When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, "How did it go, my daughter?"
      Then she told her everything Boaz had done for her 17 and added, "He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, 'Don't go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.' "
 18 Then Naomi said, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."

Enough said. See you tomorrow. 

    No comments: