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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Does getting born again mean you stop njyes?

Today Maina Kageni and Mwalimu Kingangi were talking about the situation when your spouse gets 'too saved' that they take some of your marital privileges, aka freaky njyes or no njyes. Should you accept this and adjust to their new life?

My Human Opinion

First of all there is nothing like 'too saved'. If fact no one is saved yet! Those who are BORN-AGAIN will get saved when the Day of Christ comes. But let's not get into theological discussions. However, there is something like too much religion, like the overzealous Pharisees of Jesus' day.

Anyway, husbands and wives should not deprive each other and if they must, only for a time and for the right reasons (relevant verses below).

Many a times women use religion and religious activities to postpone or partially refuse or totally refuse to fulfill their husbands' sexual desire. This is not Biblically right.

Religion and religious activities are good but they should not make you miss the mark. Remember the story of the good Samaritan? The Levite and the Priest must have been going to do some religious activity. That is great. But they neglected to show mercy on the wounded robber when it mattered; the true essence of the Gospel.

There are, however, certain cases where the born-again spouse must refuse to participate in certain activities which might have been 'okay' before. For example, watching porn before/during sex and other perverse sexual activity.

But issues about, positions, when, where, how, how frequent etc should not be limited by the fact that you are born-again.

My Biblical Opinion

First and foremost, sex is only allowed between a married couple! Now that we have that sorted, I need not and should not say more. 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verses 1 - 24 do the talking.

1 Corinthians 7:1-24

Concerning Married Life
 1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.  8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Concerning Change of Status
 17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.  21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

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