Poor Guy with a lazy, disorganized Wife - Monday 2010/08/09

Topic

Today's topic was about a guy whose wife is very disorganised. she never does any household chores like cleaning the house, washing dishes, cooking and even making the bed. The house help does everything. So the question is, is this reason to complain?

My Human Opinion

The simple answer is yes, there is reason to complain. And judging from most comments from listeners we are in agreement there.

The wife should manage household chores, and do household chores sometimes.

However, there are some things a wife should NEVER let the house help do, like allowing her (the help) to enter her bedroom leave alone touching the bed. What business does the house help have in her bedroom?
This wife is inviting trouble (and I didn't say house help) and should not be surprised when trouble decides to accept the invitation.

The man on the hand should pick up the slack and be making the bed himself since the wife has refused to do so. That is unless he has ulterior motives, which we all know the possibility is high. That said men usually use such petty excuses as a license to misbehave and/or dishonour his marriage vows.

My Biblical Opinion

The obvious place to start is the famous passage in Proverbs 31 from verse 10-31::A wife of noble character

The passage begins with a question.

 ^{10 [a]} A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies. 

This implies that a noble wife as described in the passage is rare and very valuable. And just who finds such a wife? A man who asks the Lord to give him such a wife and has found favour from the Lord. And how does a man find favour with the Lord? By loving the Lord. And how do you do that? By obeying Him. It is the onus of the man to find a noble wife (I am sure this is another topic for discussion). So the first thing we should look at is how and where did this man find his wife? But since he already has the wife, we move on.

 ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Maybe therein lies the problem. That man should shoulder some blame for this problem. But again, we move on.

 ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.

Note: The Prov:31 wife has servant girls, not girl. Yet she provides portions for them, not the other way round.

 ²² She makes coverings for her bed;
       she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

The Prov:31 wife makes the covers not just pulling the covers over the bed. (I can bet she also made the bed, literally) Need we say more about the "making the bed" issue?

 ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
       and supplies the merchants with sashes.

The Prov:31 wife is a working woman. Yet she

 ²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
       and does not eat the bread of idleness.

So having a job or business is not an excuse.


But when all is said and done, what should this poor man do?

Again the man should do the things the wife is not doing. Yes, and this is the tricky bit. The ego must lie low. He must stand up and be the man, by humbling himself and then by his (positive) actions.
This way he will set an example that the wife can emulate. Then when she finally changes he should

 ³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
       and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Maybe this man was not rewarding her before, so she stopped.

We don't know but God does. See you tomorrow